What you should do?
Don’t get me wrong here. There is a large difference between soaking in your surroundings and learning from everyone versus not giving a rat’s a** to what they think about you.
What you do need to do is to learn how to learn from others and utilize it to your advantage. The learnings of that person, not misusing your relationship with someone. I have a mentors whom I consult on a regular basis and I have mentees who do the same with me. Others will always be able to give you insight in terms of character, teachings, values, information and so forth however the key to that is to understand that you reserve the right to attain you’re life’s goal and
- what you need to do to get there, secondly
- how you need to do it
That is something that is fully within you’re control. I have grown up with this notion that I am responsible for my actions and hence decisions will result in my own consequences. If I work hard, the fact that I may have nearly a seven digit figure on my bank account is a result of that choice. If people talk behind my back and I give in to the fact that I find the world more important than the ability to filter out the positive and find the value-add to myself and my immediate surroundings, than I will always loss.
The key is to learn to be resourceful with the knowledge of your self being.
Timbalands verse out of “Afraid” by Nelly Furtado:
A diamond don’t define what shine is
I don’t need a Rolex to know what the time is
You got your let me find what mine is
I’m a survivor look how strong my mind is
I stand on my own it’s all me
Regardless of whatever they call me
I’m a leader not a follower
And I’d rather be paid and popular
Ride homie get your dollars up
We’re in the belly of the beast that already swallowed us
How you are to do it?
Its really simple – don’t care what others perceive of you. You are you. The way you perceive yourself is what will lead to negative or positive thinking in all areas of life. And believe me, in my twenty something years of being on this planet, there are more beautiful things to obsess about than rumors and others judgment over you.
Accepting yourself, defining your goals and developing understanding is key to personal growth. Hence do not worry about unimportant issues – could you be a little taller? Could you be a little smarter? Could you be a bit more athletic? You are fixating yourself on the things that will penetrate your thought process and break down that filtering shield and that’s where others get in.
Next you need to learn to not give in. As I stated, the world does not want you to succeed. There are folks who sincerely want to see you grow and be successful. The most don’t. I personally find that disappointing. I want to see others be successful. That spurs me on to do the same for myself. Within the corporate world I tell my team on a consistent basis that I want to see them grow and that development is focus. Along with not giving in you need to learn to observe your mind by rationally accepting to not give in on your emotions when the world jumps on you. Stay focused and control that rollercoaster of feelings. I am not saying to be a robot, rather be conscious of the inner emotion and utilize it.
My next point is about “the big picture.” We tend to use that phrase a lot however I believe that people who don’t give a crap about the issues others want them to buy into are usually the ones who are able to put things into perspective. Example: My Job. – Do I care what others think about me as “a” or “their” leader? No. Do I care about sincere feedback (that I need to filter for me) to make me grow as a leader and eventually be better at what I do? Yes. The result of that thinking is that people will see you for who you truly are, should they like it or not, because in this life are they the one’s who should make my life less enjoyable? Nah. So stop over-thinking , don’t self abuse yourself, set you’re clear vision in life and live by your principles and values. Grow each day, because when you lay your head to sleep the things you chose to do will reflect only on you. So what they say doesn’t matter.
Nelly Furtado’s song brings it to the point:
You’re so afraid of what people might say
But that’s okay cause you’re only human
You’re so afraid of what people might say
But that’s okay you’ll soon get strong enough
You’re so afraid of what people might say
But that’s okay cause you’re only human
You’re so afraid of what people might say
You’re going to break
So please don’t do it
You wanna spread your wings but you’re not sure
Don’t wanna leave your comforts
Wanna find a cure
We’re afraid of who we see in the mirror
We wanna let go but it feels too pure
Who wants to be alone in this world
You look around and all you see is hurt
But the light it always finds us
If we move with a little trust
We all have the choice. Choose wisely.
